Grrrrrr!!! (CD 5)

James got a call this morning from the specialist. They got his semen analysis results and want to set up an appointment with him.... IN SEPTEMBER!!! Are you serious? They're going on holiday tomorrow and the next appointment is for September 3 so we are supposed to wait out the rest of the summer for results. They of course aren't permitted to share test results over the phone (it's a law in Canada, not sure about elsewhere) and since they're not open until the end of August there's no chance of getting in sooner.
Then I had an epiphany. When I went to get a prescription filled at my doctor (my GP) the other day he had my test results from my CD21 bloodwork and was able to share them with me. Conveniently James and I share a doctor (by coincidence, apparently it was meant to be!) so I knew that he would be able to get the results as well. James called our doctor and has an appointment set up for next Wednesday -- way better than September!
I'm not sure what I'm hoping to find out. It's possible that his sperm is perfect and ready to go and make a baby but I think most likely there is a problem and that is why he needs his own appointment with my OB/GYN. Part of me is secretly wishing that the problem lies with James' sperm and that my body is perfectly healthy and ready to make a baby. Is that horrible? I suppose that it all works out to be the same but I just want some relief from the betrayal of my body that I have been feeling. I think also, that if the problem does lie with James that our chances of conceiving through some other means (most likely IUI or as a last result with donor sperm) will be higher. Or maybe I'm just a selfish bitch who is holding on to the chance that my body is ok and that I will never have to use a donor egg or a surrogate. Hmmm... lots to think about over the next week. xo